I may say ‘sorry’ 3+ times a day (ok, maybe 7+) but I don’t mean it! I honestly have nothing to apologize for every single day, multiple times a day. But recently as a society it’s become part of our language to excuse ourselves by apologizing when we really mean, “pardon” or “excuse me”.

I’m no expert but I think subconsciously as we apologize more and more it lowers our self esteem. We end up projecting that it’s ALL our fault when, in reality, it’s not. It never is. However, it is a term that we associate with being liked. We think it lessens being harsh or demanding but instead of that, it opens us up to being immediately vulnerable.

To break a habit such as adjusting our speech patterns takes time. Some tips that may help: listen to yourself, tally up the amount of times you say it in a day (I don’t mean it in the appropriate context). Are you talking to friends, family, co-workers? Are you trying to avoid conflict or are you trying to please someone? Please, take a moment to truly understand how you are feeling before immediately being apologetic. 

Writer Margaret Boykin, perfectly summed up the message that I am attempting to relay.

“To suggest that we all stop apologizing entirely or disregard the notion of being kind and polite is not the answer, but neither is allowing ourselves to fall back on nervous tics. Rather, it’s remembering that the desire to seem “nice” shouldn’t preclude our ability to do our jobs in an efficient, self-assured manner, and that being confident is never something to be sorry for. ”

So with all this being said, I hope we walk away from this read with Beyonce’s confidence and repeatedly singing B’s catchy lyric – “I ain’t sorry”!

By: Alexa Rodriguez